The Analyzer

Ain’t no Shore thing

cimarone — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:25:41 +0000

Like all things — good and bad — “The Jersey Shore” had ended. At least for now.

I really can’t understand the lure of the MTV show, expect that since the dawn of man, people have enjoyed watching other people talk and behave stupidly. And here there are amble amounts.

It just wraps up and kicks off the most bizarre year ever. A decade that saw Fishbowl Television become the norm, Shore is just the latest example.

But why such a frenzy?

Does it represent people we may know? Does it just play into stereotypes? Is it just entertaining? Is it all three?

Either way, I just want to know why the Seaside Heights Police Department and the tanning salon near the Shore house aren’t in the credits as cast members.

Winter forecast

cimarone — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:16:11 +0000

It’s been a long, long winter that only seems to be getting longer. We’ve already gotten the Big Storm of 2010 (in ’09 no less) and ushered in a New Year with more than a chill in the air.
Why is it when we are in the middle of winter is seems to go on forever, despite shorter days, but summer flies by?
It’s not that I mind winter so much, or the cold, it’s the bulky wear I can’t stand. It’s going in and out of overheated places (like the mall) and not knowing what to do with the coat, gloves, hat, scarf, earmuffs, and everything else needed to avoid freezing to death.
Yet winter is beautiful to look at. Nothing tops trees glistening with ice or the serene scene of snow falling.
But does the cold have to come with it?
I hear Disney World creates snow for travels coming down for the holidays, in essence creating the world they fled for warm Florida. People wear shorts and flip-flops while sipping hot chocolate as the snow drifts down over them.
Any way we can get some of that — lovely snow minus the cold, minus cleaning off the car, minus shoveling the pavement and — above all else — minus the giant coat?

Lurking turkey

cimarone — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:21:55 +0000

“There is one day that is ours. There is one day when all we Americans who are not self-made go back to the old home to eat saleratus biscuits and marvel how much nearer to the porch the old pump looks than it used to. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.” ~ O. Henry

Thanksgiving is here, but where are the decorations? I know it’s not exactly that type of holiday, but there at least use to be the crackle Pilgrim boy and girl. Or the paper-feathered turkey. How about the cornucopia spilling out fruit? I couldn’t find one adornment in any store in the aisles upon aisles of Christmas goods. Do kids even make Thanksgiving decorations, arguably the most American of holidays, in school anymore?

Where has all the celebrating gone?

It’s on the tables, for sure, but consuming seems to have affected this November holiday. Consumed, that is, by Christmas, football, Black Friday, sales, cheap TVs, exhausting travel, gorging oneself, and everything but being thankful for all that this country has to offer, that has happened and that another year has passed and you are around to be thankful for anything at all. Look, if you are standing there eating a drumstick, then chances are you’ve got at least one thing to be thankful for.

The holiday has many meanings, origin stories, lore and legends, but let’s not forget what its inherent meaning is: Simply to “Give Thanks.”

And put a paper turkey in the window. The Christmas decorations can wait a day.

Dress rehearsal

cimarone — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:47:10 +0000

It’s getting scary out there.
When people aren’t so jacked up on coffee and reality TV, they are going the opposite direction and wearing pajamas and slippers. This is not just trotted out to grab the morning paper on the stoop, but to go grocery shopping, run errands, drop off the kids and get gas.
Yes, we’ve given up on Casual Fridays and are going with Comatose Everyday. If I can wear it to sleep, I can wear it to push around a shopping cart, right?
I knew we were on a downward slide years ago when I paid close to $80 a ticket to see “The Lion King” when it premiered at The Academy of Music. The person next to me wore flip-flops. To the theater. And then slipped them off and crossed their legs so, instead of magical puppetry to look at, I had a stranger’s disgusting feet in my face.
Not good.
So I was pleasantly surprised when I hit the opening night of “Light in the Piazza” Nov. 18 (catch it if you can. It’s amazing with two strong females leads with pipes to match). Everyone filing out after the show at the Suzanne Roberts Theater was dressed to the nines. It was so refreshing and it made the night out feel special.
I myself am a jeans and sneakers girl, so I love casual. But I also think how you dress shows how you feel about the event. It goes beyond presenting yourself in the way you dress; it’s telling how you feel.
PJs say you could care less — and not in a cool way. You just look like a lazy person who escaped from a hospital. Would you want to meet an old boyfriend or girlfriend like that (yep, I’ve seen guys now sporting this trend)?
I’ll dress down any chance I can get, but I know when to draw the line. Many don’t.
So put on some khakis, toss the flip-flops and buy a cashmere sweater (just one will last a lifetime) or a really good polo shirt. You’d be amazed how far casual cool – rather than comatose – can get you.

Food for thought

cimarone — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:45:21 +0000

She’s the last one standing at the stove.
Jennifer Carroll is the only woman in a kitchen full of men on Bravo’s “Top Chef.” She definitely deserves to be there. With a great combination of know-how and risk, her efforts have paid off over the course of the season. She’s hit a rough patch of late, but I can’t help but think back to something she said in the second episode, long before, one by one, her female housemates fell on the knife.
It was during the boys vs. girls challenge “Bach/elorette Party.” To paraphrase, she couldn’t grasp how the gender split made any sense as talent is talent.
She’s right, of course, but she nudged my brain: How did the business of running a restaurant kitchen become a man’s world, while running a home kitchen — or even a household — became woman’s work?
Granted, times have changed. Many men are happy to face a fridge full of food, rather than see it as a wormhole to calling for a pizza. And there are women whose kitchens are really just extended closets.
This isn’t about them. This is about the business of food.
Women chefs numbers are vast, but they are just now getting their dues in my opinion. “Top Chef” is in its sixth season and has had only one female winner, Stephanie Izard, in its fourth season.
And don’t get me started about Julia Child. Who could imagine she of all people had to push her way into Le Cordon Bleu?
But such is the case when business is involved, as is the concept of “running” something. Once it moves outside the home front, “running” something isn’t seen as the same thing.
I’m not shooting for a feminist rant, more like a how did this happen? Was it a profitable business that could be monetized, so the duties were moved to the male realm, long considered the bread-winners?
It just seems running a professional kitchen, or running an office, a household, or anything else, is gender neutral. Talent is talent.

But why is there still a dividing line?

Here’s hoping Jen C. rallies in the final episodes. I’m rooting for her for one reason only — she’s the most talented chef in the line-up.

Strike 101

cimarone — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:30:23 +0000

SEPTA’s strike grinds on. There is talk of an end in sight, but that means nothing to people who are struggling to get to work, school or just around the city each and every day.
It’s a major embarrassment – not just the fact our transit system has taken a me-over-you attitude (imagine if our police or firefighters felt this way) but in the days since it started there have been a fire that terrified probably new rail passengers and a death on the tracks, which would require a lot of explanation under any circumstances.
All of this makes SEPTA seem ill-equipped for what it is supposed to provide – safe travel – and the strike only adds fuel to a fire that the system is antiquated and unable to handle the demands of an ever-growing green world.
If this city ever wants to be considered a forerunner – heck, a contributing member – of the green movement, forget about the recycling police (what credentials do you show for a job to pick through people’s trash? Former tabloid reporter) and focus on a massive rehaul of SEPTA, its reach and, most importantly, its attitude towards its riders.

Feeding the fee

cimarone — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:37:40 +0000

Welcome to my head. Sometimes it’s very crowded in here, with ricocheting questions, other times it’s stuck in rumination mode.
Either way, there are questions that need answers and my brain does its best to make that happen.
It just doesn’t always work.
Take my Pearl Jam ticket, for example.
Love them and can’t get enough of the boys from Seattle, but what is the ticket fee for? Isn’t the $80 enough? Does that extra $3 really add to anything?
For that matter, what is any fee anywhere for?
My phone bill has a universal fee. Who does that go to? I barely get reception, so I doubt it’s going into some cosmic bank.
In this day and age of watching my dollars become pennies, I feel entitled to know where my cash is going. I want an itemized bill — not just of what I’ve ordered or used — but of where my fee is going, complete with employee names or what brand of coffee my random $1 got the staff.